


Someone You Loved

by sevenstevearmy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Song Lyrics, mention of past unnamed character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 01:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20806106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevenstevearmy/pseuds/sevenstevearmy





	Someone You Loved

He hadn’t meant it, to lash out. He had warned them plenty in advance, but they all thought they knew better, and it was just too much. Virgil knew himself, and he knew what would set him off. He knew when he needed comfort and when he needed space. He knew what would happen if they saw him like that. He could get through this part alone, but they just wouldn’t listen.

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me_   
_This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy_

When would they understand? Probably never now. There was no doubt in his mind that they would never forgive him. He lost yet another family, but this time he had nowhere to run to.

_I need somebody to heal_   
_Somebody to know_   
_Somebody to have_   
_Somebody to hold_   
_It's easy to say_   
_But it's never the same_   
_I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain_

This was one of those times he needed comfort, but he thought he could do it alone. If it ever came down to it he thought he could manage being alone again. He had finally managed to open up more and let some walls down, he should have known that was a bad idea

_Now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

He had even scared Patton. Patton had tried so hard to help, deciding to ignore every warning to be there for him, but Virgil had never been quite comfortable telling them what he was capable of, what happened when he lost control.

_I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to_   
_This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you_

_Now, I need somebody to know_   
_Somebody to heal_   
_Somebody to have_   
_Just to know how it feels_   
_It's easy to say but it's never the same_   
_I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape_

If he had been able to see them, have their company, he knew he could’ve gotten through this, but they were comforting Patton, who undoubtedly was so horrified that he never wanted to see him again. And Roman would never forgive him for hurting Patton. They would go back to being enemies and this time it really was his fault. Logan… He wasn’t sure about Logan, but there was no doubt he would distance himself a bit for the sake of the others.

_Now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

It was night now, and he knew they wouldn’t come back to him. It had already been hours.

_And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes_   
_I fall into your arms_   
_I'll be safe in your sound til I come back around_

A few days went past, and they still hadn’t come. Maybe they wanted to but were scared because they didn’t know what state he was in, or maybe they no longer cared about him, if they had ever cared in the first place. Well they must have, or else this whole thing wouldn’t have happened. Maybe he should go out and find them? But he couldn’t. He couldn’t make them feel unsafe in the space they had let him into. It was theirs, not his.

_For now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

He felt so foolish to have let himself get so attached. He knew this would happen. It had only been a matter of time.

_But now the day bleeds_   
_Into nightfall_   
_And you're not here_   
_To get me through it all_   
_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

He was so tired of hurting everyone, tired of being who he was, tired of existing. He would create a new anxiety for Thomas, one not so damaged, and then he would disappear, for good this time.

_I let my guard down_   
_And then you pulled the rug_   
_I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved_

The others could feel a shift, and while they were wary, they knew this feeling. They refused to lose another anxiety.


End file.
